CONGREGATIONAL LIFE
Covenant Groups
WHAT ARE COVENANT GROUPS?
Covenant Groups, otherwise known as Small Group Ministry, are part of a growing movement within Unitarian Universalist congregations, responding to a need to foster deeper engagement among members and with the wider community. They consist of up to 10 individuals, plus 1 facilitator and 1 facilitator-in-training. Individuals sign up in such a way that they do not know in advance who the other participants will be. This helps to counteract the tendency to join groups consisting of individuals one already knows and has an affinity for. It provides an opportunity to get to know people one might otherwise not come into contact with.
Once a group has been established, it is largely autonomous and self-governing, determining for itself: when and where and for how long it will meet (groups are finite); the covenant it will abide by; the topic it will discuss to support spiritual growth; the service project it will plan and carry out. The only requirements are that: it make use of the prescribed meeting format and structure; it maintain the focus on process, welcoming and personal sharing.
With a focus on spiritual growth through right relationship, Covenant Groups are designed to help us be more conscious of how we interact: encouraging greater awareness of and commitment to how we value and listen to each other. One way this is accomplished is through the shared process of self-determination (through the democratic process of creating a covenant, selecting a theme and service project). Another way, is through the presence of an “empty chair” - symbolic of those not present, yet to join us in relationship. Yet another way, is through the intentional process of closure, as the life of an existing group comes to an end – and new groups are formed.
HOW ARE COVENANT GROUPS DIFFERENT FROM OTHER GROUPS?
In Covenant Groups, the process of how we interact with each other is more important than what we end up discussing! Covenant Groups encourage us to greater awareness of how we live out our faith in our daily interactions. They are not therapy, and no advice will be given. They are not support groups, task-oriented groups or focus groups. They are not a forum for flaunting intellectual prowess. What they are, is an opportunity to face our own impatience and prejudices, creating experiences of trust, care and compassion!
HOW ARE THEY ORGANIZED?
Covenant Groups cannot be “imported” into congregations if they are to last! They must arise through the interest and enthusiasm of church members. If they are to be sustainable, a strong foundation must be built before such groups begin meeting. This foundation includes the support of the Board, the minister, and the congregation. It includes the presence of a Task Force set up to help spread the word, organize registration and logistics, and liaison with the Board/congregation. It also includes the presence of individuals recruited and trained as Covenant Group Facilitators, and those identified as potential Facilitators-In-Training. Once groups are actively meeting, Facilitators and Facilitators-In-Training meet regularly with the minister as a group to get support and strengthen the spiritual focus.
INTRODUCTION TO THE NON-NEGOTIABLE COVENANT GROUP FORMAT
A great deal of freedom is experienced by group members as they determine for themselves when, where, and for how long to meet, which covenant they will abide by, which topic they will discuss, and which service project they will engage in! However, it is not uncommon to encounter resistance to those elements of Covenant Groups that are non-negotiable. These elements deal with the format for organization, including the format for how meetings are run. These elements are considered non-negotiable because they have been found to be critical in setting up and maintaining an environment of safety and trust, shared leadership, and focus. When these elements are neglected or changed, Covenant Groups lose that which makes them unique and meaningful. Often, this results in personal, as well as congregational disappointment and disillusionment.
In order to get the most out of the Covenant Group experience, the following formats should be considered non-negotiable:
FORMAT FOR ORGANIZATION
MEETING FORMAT
While each group does have a Facilitator, each participant is considered responsible for tending to the care of the group, which includes making sure that the format and time schedule are upheld, that everyone has equal participation, the behavioral Guidelines and Covenant are upheld, etc. Leadership is shared also as each person takes turns offering the opening and closing readings, or arranging food to share.
BEHAVIORAL GUIDELINES
In order to create a safe environment for personal sharing, certain behavioral guidelines must be promoted and agreed upon by all participants in formal groups (teams, committees, affinity groups, covenant groups, forums, etc.). Below are some guidelines that have been developed by past groups, which have been found to provide a good foundation for building trust and safety. They serve as a reminder to all participants of the shared responsibility of right-relationship. Time is set aside at the beginning of the meeting for a brief review of the guidelines. Participants are asked to note and discuss whether something jumps out as particularly important, or less relevant. Regularly taking the time to do this increases the sense of full participation in creating an environment of safety, trust, mutual care and focus. The guidelines should be amended only if doing so is recognized as enhancing group functioning. Every group meeting should start with an affirmation of these guidelines.
Sample Guidelines
SAMPLE COVENANTS
When a Covenant Group is first forming, its primary task is to clarify logistics (when and where to meet, how often, and until what date), to select a focus theme and service project, and to compose a Covenant.
A Covenant states what it is the members of the group pledge to each other and expect of each other. This can be highly detailed (requiring a lot of time to compose), or be in very general language. The important thing is that each member of the group participate fully in this process until a consensus is reached. This shared process, while it typically extends over several sessions, is considered essential to the formation, bonding, and effectiveness of these groups!
For the sake of a Covenant Group Sample Circle experience, which only meets once and for which only one hour has been scheduled, sample Covenants are provided to save time. Participants are asked to briefly review these Covenants with the group, amend/edit them as necessary – and end up with a Covenant everyone in the group is willing to affirm. The group can then proceed with a discussion of the focus theme.
SAMPLE SERVICE PROJECTS FOR COVENANT GROUPS
Covenant Groups are required to plan and carry out at least one service project for the life of each group. Doing so reminds participants of their embedded-ness in a larger context, which calls for responsible, value-driven engagement.
The project can be as simple or as involved as the group decides, and as resources allow - although some projects may require checking in for the Board’s approval.
Below are some sample service projects.
What ideas do you have for service projects to benefit the church or the larger community?
SAMPLE COVENANT GROUP THEMES
When covenant groups form, they determine for themselves which theme they wish to explore together. The process of arriving at consensus is an important part of our Unitarian Universalist history, and an expression of our affirmation of democratic process and of individual worth. This process may require several meetings, until an agreement can be made.
When discussion themes are selected it’s important to remember that the theme should promote deeper understanding of oneself as a religious/spiritual person. Any theme will do – as long as it is discussed in this spirit.
Sample discussion themes are provided below:
From the UU Commission on Appraisal: Engaging our Theological Diversity
o What shapes my religious convictions
o Where is my religious authority
o How important are UU sources to me
o How I understand the universe
o What I believe about sin and evil
o How I view human nature
o My thoughts on transcendent Dimension
o What is my spiritual path and or practice?
o (love & service; community, understanding, interior harmony)
o The person(s) who inspired me most
o How I have changed
o Formative experiences in my religious journey
Other Popular Covenant Group Themes
o Loaded words – a discussion of (pick one): “God”, “Grace”, “Repentance”, “Absolution”, “Angels”, “Evangelism”, “Faith”, “Idolatry”, “Miracles”, “Prayer”, “Saints”
o My favorite UU Principle
o Exploring the world’s wisdom traditions: what can I learn from (pick one): Hinduism, Buddhism, Islam, Christianity, Mysticism, etc.
o Exploring Spirituality through Music, Dance, the Arts…
o Creativity and Other Ways to Grow a Soul
o Experiencing the Divine in Nature
o Spirituality and Science
o The Gifts and Challenge of Diversity
o Coming to Terms with (pick one): Fear, Aging, Being a Political Minority, Illness, Success, Death, Love, etc.
o Group focus on a selected book, scripture, song, or poem
What other subjects would be of interest to you?
COVENANT GROUP SAMPLER CIRCLE
WHAT’S PLANNED FOR TODAY
11:50 - 12:00 GATHERING
12:00 - 12:05 CHALICE LIGHTING & OPENING WORDS
12:05 - 12:08 WELCOME, LOGISTICS, SCHEDULE REVIEW,
REVIEW OF BEHAVIORAL GUIDELINES
12:08 - 12:15 SHARED INTRODUCTIONS & CHECK-IN
12:15 - 12:30 WHAT ARE COVENANT GROUPS?
WHAT MAKES COVENANT GROUPS UNIQUE & ENRICHING?
THE IMPORTANCE OF THE COVENANT GROUP FORMAT!
INSTRUCTIONS FOR SMALL GROUPS & HANDOUT REVIEW
12:30 – 1:30 SMALL GROUPS
1:30 - 1:40 SMALL GROUP FEEDBACK
1:40 - 1:50 SO WHAT & NOW WHAT
1:50 - 1:55 CHECK OUT WITH COMMENTS ON PROCESS
1:55 - 2:00 CLOSING RITUAL
2:00 SHARING BEAUTY & ORDER Everyone helps to return our sanctuary to order and beauty!
The Covenant Group Format Experienced in One Hour!
Normally each Covenant Group determines for itself when, where, and for how long it meets (in terms of the duration of each individual meeting, and the life-span of the group itself). Usually, groups agree to meet weekly or bi-weekly for at least 1-1/2 to two hours (perhaps for a period of six months), to assure that there’s enough time for in-depth personal sharing and focus on the theme and service project sharing.
For the sake of a Covenant Group Sampler Circle, one hour is scheduled for participants to “get a taste” of the Covenant Group format -- what it feels like to participate in such a group.
Below is a listing of the required format, with some suggestions on how to divide your time. Each member of the group is responsible for time-keeping!
Covenant Groups, otherwise known as Small Group Ministry, are part of a growing movement within Unitarian Universalist congregations, responding to a need to foster deeper engagement among members and with the wider community. They consist of up to 10 individuals, plus 1 facilitator and 1 facilitator-in-training. Individuals sign up in such a way that they do not know in advance who the other participants will be. This helps to counteract the tendency to join groups consisting of individuals one already knows and has an affinity for. It provides an opportunity to get to know people one might otherwise not come into contact with.
Once a group has been established, it is largely autonomous and self-governing, determining for itself: when and where and for how long it will meet (groups are finite); the covenant it will abide by; the topic it will discuss to support spiritual growth; the service project it will plan and carry out. The only requirements are that: it make use of the prescribed meeting format and structure; it maintain the focus on process, welcoming and personal sharing.
With a focus on spiritual growth through right relationship, Covenant Groups are designed to help us be more conscious of how we interact: encouraging greater awareness of and commitment to how we value and listen to each other. One way this is accomplished is through the shared process of self-determination (through the democratic process of creating a covenant, selecting a theme and service project). Another way, is through the presence of an “empty chair” - symbolic of those not present, yet to join us in relationship. Yet another way, is through the intentional process of closure, as the life of an existing group comes to an end – and new groups are formed.
HOW ARE COVENANT GROUPS DIFFERENT FROM OTHER GROUPS?
In Covenant Groups, the process of how we interact with each other is more important than what we end up discussing! Covenant Groups encourage us to greater awareness of how we live out our faith in our daily interactions. They are not therapy, and no advice will be given. They are not support groups, task-oriented groups or focus groups. They are not a forum for flaunting intellectual prowess. What they are, is an opportunity to face our own impatience and prejudices, creating experiences of trust, care and compassion!
HOW ARE THEY ORGANIZED?
Covenant Groups cannot be “imported” into congregations if they are to last! They must arise through the interest and enthusiasm of church members. If they are to be sustainable, a strong foundation must be built before such groups begin meeting. This foundation includes the support of the Board, the minister, and the congregation. It includes the presence of a Task Force set up to help spread the word, organize registration and logistics, and liaison with the Board/congregation. It also includes the presence of individuals recruited and trained as Covenant Group Facilitators, and those identified as potential Facilitators-In-Training. Once groups are actively meeting, Facilitators and Facilitators-In-Training meet regularly with the minister as a group to get support and strengthen the spiritual focus.
INTRODUCTION TO THE NON-NEGOTIABLE COVENANT GROUP FORMAT
A great deal of freedom is experienced by group members as they determine for themselves when, where, and for how long to meet, which covenant they will abide by, which topic they will discuss, and which service project they will engage in! However, it is not uncommon to encounter resistance to those elements of Covenant Groups that are non-negotiable. These elements deal with the format for organization, including the format for how meetings are run. These elements are considered non-negotiable because they have been found to be critical in setting up and maintaining an environment of safety and trust, shared leadership, and focus. When these elements are neglected or changed, Covenant Groups lose that which makes them unique and meaningful. Often, this results in personal, as well as congregational disappointment and disillusionment.
In order to get the most out of the Covenant Group experience, the following formats should be considered non-negotiable:
FORMAT FOR ORGANIZATION
- Covenant Groups are organized through the interest and enthusiasm of church members, with the support of the Board, the Minister and the Congregation.
- A Task Force of committed individuals is proactive in learning about Covenant Groups, gaining Covenant Group experience and the support of the congregation, then organizes advertising, registration, logistics, etc.
- Facilitators and Facilitators-In-Training are identified and recruited by the Minister, and trained as necessary (additional training is available through the district)
- Facilitators and Facilitators-In-Training meet with the Minister regularly in their own group, to get support and strengthen the spiritual focus of the groups
- Registration is random and anonymous, to encourage new relationships
- Groups determine the logistics of their own meeting (when, where and for how long), Covenant, discussion theme, service project
- The focus is process, welcoming and personal sharing
MEETING FORMAT
While each group does have a Facilitator, each participant is considered responsible for tending to the care of the group, which includes making sure that the format and time schedule are upheld, that everyone has equal participation, the behavioral Guidelines and Covenant are upheld, etc. Leadership is shared also as each person takes turns offering the opening and closing readings, or arranging food to share.
- Gathering time (with shared food?!)
- Opening: Chalice lighting and reading from a UU source
- Check-in: deep listening - everyone gets full time/full attention/right to pass
- Review of Guidelines/Covenant
- Themed focus time: deep listening - everyone gets full time/full attention/right to pass
- Process check: what went well, what could done differently next time.
- Check-out
- Closing ritual/reading
- Shared Beauty & Order
BEHAVIORAL GUIDELINES
In order to create a safe environment for personal sharing, certain behavioral guidelines must be promoted and agreed upon by all participants in formal groups (teams, committees, affinity groups, covenant groups, forums, etc.). Below are some guidelines that have been developed by past groups, which have been found to provide a good foundation for building trust and safety. They serve as a reminder to all participants of the shared responsibility of right-relationship. Time is set aside at the beginning of the meeting for a brief review of the guidelines. Participants are asked to note and discuss whether something jumps out as particularly important, or less relevant. Regularly taking the time to do this increases the sense of full participation in creating an environment of safety, trust, mutual care and focus. The guidelines should be amended only if doing so is recognized as enhancing group functioning. Every group meeting should start with an affirmation of these guidelines.
Sample Guidelines
- Tend to your own self care – take breaks and ask for clarity as needed
- Know your own value to the effectiveness of this group, and consistently acknowledge the value of each group member (present or absent)
- Understand your own history, feelings and commitments regarding the nature of working in a group, of conflict/disagreement, and of constructive communication
- Arrive prepared for full participation, putting aside other concerns for this time
- Honor the commitment to attendance and timeliness
- Share responsibility for group process: helping everyone keep to the topic and the schedule
- Stay in the here and now: bring concerns about the group process and focus to the group
- Listen respectfully and without judgment
- Do not interrupt speakers
- Each person has equal opportunity to share
- Trust that your turn will come to respond and offer your own thoughts
- Critique ideas only, not persons
- Withhold advice
- Assume good will
- Be aware of group process, and be willing to name what you are noticing
- Stay attentive to the person speaking and what they’re expressing
- Ask for clarification when necessary
- Be willing to risk naming your honest thoughts, opinions, and feelings as they relate to the topic being discussed
- Withhold discussion of personal matters not on the agenda
- Use “I” statements
- Know that it’s okay to take the time you need to process your thoughts before expressing them. Doing so may inspire new and valuable ideas
- Practice sensitivity regarding the need for privacy/confidentiality
- Be aware and caring of those with different needs involving mobility, vision, hearing, etc.
- …?
SAMPLE COVENANTS
When a Covenant Group is first forming, its primary task is to clarify logistics (when and where to meet, how often, and until what date), to select a focus theme and service project, and to compose a Covenant.
A Covenant states what it is the members of the group pledge to each other and expect of each other. This can be highly detailed (requiring a lot of time to compose), or be in very general language. The important thing is that each member of the group participate fully in this process until a consensus is reached. This shared process, while it typically extends over several sessions, is considered essential to the formation, bonding, and effectiveness of these groups!
For the sake of a Covenant Group Sample Circle experience, which only meets once and for which only one hour has been scheduled, sample Covenants are provided to save time. Participants are asked to briefly review these Covenants with the group, amend/edit them as necessary – and end up with a Covenant everyone in the group is willing to affirm. The group can then proceed with a discussion of the focus theme.
- We covenant to meet together this day to benefit the membership growth of this congregation and this faith. We covenant to honor each other’s time, opinions, feelings, and efforts; to listen deeply and risk truth-telling, as we work together to justly serve the needs and aspirations of this congregation and to anticipate the needs of those who have not yet joined us! In doing so, we will communicate with each other and the congregation in the spirit of honesty, trust and good will. In all matters we covenant to be guided by the UUA Principles and Purposes, the mission and by-laws of this congregation, commitment to right relationship with each other, all beings and the earth, and by the voice of our own conscience.
- In honor of our individuality and our interconnectedness, we covenant to share this time together in a spirit of goodwill, curiosity, and trust -- understanding that this opportunity to exist in right relationship is a manifestation of our Unitarian Universalist commitment to honoring diversity, creating equality, and living out our personal theology.
- We covenant together this day to honor each other’s time, each other’s wisdoms and each other’s needs. With an open mind and open heart we will put aside our other concerns and any judgments that may arise; we will listen deeply and equally to each other; we will give no advice, nor will we share with anyone not covenanted to us any personal stories that are not our own.
SAMPLE SERVICE PROJECTS FOR COVENANT GROUPS
Covenant Groups are required to plan and carry out at least one service project for the life of each group. Doing so reminds participants of their embedded-ness in a larger context, which calls for responsible, value-driven engagement.
The project can be as simple or as involved as the group decides, and as resources allow - although some projects may require checking in for the Board’s approval.
Below are some sample service projects.
- Plant and maintain a church vegetable garden, with crops donated to a local food pantry, etc.
- Paint a mural representing UU values and/or history for display at church
- Host a bake sale or plant sale or crafts sale, with proceeds to benefit a special church project or community project
- Organize an interfaith community event
- Design and create a walking labyrinth on church property
- Organize a “gently used clothing drive” to benefit a local homeless shelter
- Put on a special event (play or concert) at a local nursing home
- Put together care packages for persons displaced by fires, floods, etc.
What ideas do you have for service projects to benefit the church or the larger community?
SAMPLE COVENANT GROUP THEMES
When covenant groups form, they determine for themselves which theme they wish to explore together. The process of arriving at consensus is an important part of our Unitarian Universalist history, and an expression of our affirmation of democratic process and of individual worth. This process may require several meetings, until an agreement can be made.
When discussion themes are selected it’s important to remember that the theme should promote deeper understanding of oneself as a religious/spiritual person. Any theme will do – as long as it is discussed in this spirit.
Sample discussion themes are provided below:
From the UU Commission on Appraisal: Engaging our Theological Diversity
o What shapes my religious convictions
o Where is my religious authority
o How important are UU sources to me
o How I understand the universe
o What I believe about sin and evil
o How I view human nature
o My thoughts on transcendent Dimension
o What is my spiritual path and or practice?
o (love & service; community, understanding, interior harmony)
o The person(s) who inspired me most
o How I have changed
o Formative experiences in my religious journey
Other Popular Covenant Group Themes
o Loaded words – a discussion of (pick one): “God”, “Grace”, “Repentance”, “Absolution”, “Angels”, “Evangelism”, “Faith”, “Idolatry”, “Miracles”, “Prayer”, “Saints”
o My favorite UU Principle
o Exploring the world’s wisdom traditions: what can I learn from (pick one): Hinduism, Buddhism, Islam, Christianity, Mysticism, etc.
o Exploring Spirituality through Music, Dance, the Arts…
o Creativity and Other Ways to Grow a Soul
o Experiencing the Divine in Nature
o Spirituality and Science
o The Gifts and Challenge of Diversity
o Coming to Terms with (pick one): Fear, Aging, Being a Political Minority, Illness, Success, Death, Love, etc.
o Group focus on a selected book, scripture, song, or poem
What other subjects would be of interest to you?
COVENANT GROUP SAMPLER CIRCLE
WHAT’S PLANNED FOR TODAY
11:50 - 12:00 GATHERING
12:00 - 12:05 CHALICE LIGHTING & OPENING WORDS
12:05 - 12:08 WELCOME, LOGISTICS, SCHEDULE REVIEW,
REVIEW OF BEHAVIORAL GUIDELINES
12:08 - 12:15 SHARED INTRODUCTIONS & CHECK-IN
12:15 - 12:30 WHAT ARE COVENANT GROUPS?
WHAT MAKES COVENANT GROUPS UNIQUE & ENRICHING?
THE IMPORTANCE OF THE COVENANT GROUP FORMAT!
INSTRUCTIONS FOR SMALL GROUPS & HANDOUT REVIEW
12:30 – 1:30 SMALL GROUPS
1:30 - 1:40 SMALL GROUP FEEDBACK
1:40 - 1:50 SO WHAT & NOW WHAT
1:50 - 1:55 CHECK OUT WITH COMMENTS ON PROCESS
1:55 - 2:00 CLOSING RITUAL
2:00 SHARING BEAUTY & ORDER Everyone helps to return our sanctuary to order and beauty!
The Covenant Group Format Experienced in One Hour!
Normally each Covenant Group determines for itself when, where, and for how long it meets (in terms of the duration of each individual meeting, and the life-span of the group itself). Usually, groups agree to meet weekly or bi-weekly for at least 1-1/2 to two hours (perhaps for a period of six months), to assure that there’s enough time for in-depth personal sharing and focus on the theme and service project sharing.
For the sake of a Covenant Group Sampler Circle, one hour is scheduled for participants to “get a taste” of the Covenant Group format -- what it feels like to participate in such a group.
Below is a listing of the required format, with some suggestions on how to divide your time. Each member of the group is responsible for time-keeping!
- 12:30 Opening: since our chalice has already been lit, you may open your circle through a reading from our hymnal.
- 12:32 Check-in: each person has one full minute in which to share their name and anything of significance they wish to share. Each person is encouraged to take that full minute, even if it is passed largely in silence. Sharing can be clockwise, counterclockwise, popcorn style, or by invitation
- 12:45 Review of Guidelines/Covenant & Theme: For the sake of expediency, you have been provided with guidelines, sample covenants and sample themes. Briefly review them together and determine which covenant you can all agree to affirm, and which theme you’d like to discuss.
- 12:50 Themed focus time: Begin your discussion, assuring that each person is listened to with respect and without judgment. Don’t be quick to fill in silence – allow room for reflection!
- 1:20 Process check: each person invited to briefly comment on what worked well and what could be done better/differently during future meetings.
- 1:25 Check-out: going clockwise, each person invited to say their name, a one word description of how they feel, and an appreciation of the person on their right.
- 12:28 Closing ritual (choose a reading or hymn to share)
- 12:30 Reconvene in large group